


On the Line

by terma_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-01
Updated: 2002-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:27:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26501362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terma_archivist/pseuds/terma_archivist
Summary: Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atTER/MAand was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address onthe TER/MA collection profile.
Collections: TER/MA





	On the Line

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alicettlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [TER/MA](https://fanlore.org/wiki/TER/MA) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the TER/MA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/terma/profile).

  
**On the Line  
by SpiS-10 from the planet Alphagan! [hee HEE] **

  
_On a list, in another galaxy far, far away..._

Dana Scully wrote:   
To find your Star Wars name, you take the first 3 letters of your given   
name, and add the model of the car you drive. The planet comes from the   
last drug you took. 

* * *

"Come on, guys—just lighten up for a second, okay? Look, my given name is John and I drive a Volvo 760-GLE..." 

"Sporty!" 

"More like Rusty, actually... sorry. Go on, J." 

"So that's Joh760-GLE. And the last drug I took was Aspirin, so that's my planet. See? It's sort of 'droid-like." 

"Uh-huhn. Good match." 

"Ooh careful you don't cut yourself on all that sharp wit, spy-boy." 

"If there's any cutting to be done..." 

"Guys, please. Now, Ringo, you'd be...let's see, you'd be: RinVan from the planet Sinutab! And Mel, you'd be..." 

"MelBored from the planet ManI'mBored..." 

"No...come on. You'd be: MelBus from the planet... Mondavi Red! That sounds great. Like a—a pirate planet. And Alex..." 

"Mondavi Red isn't..." 

"Well, technically..." 

"Technically, this is a geek game, John. Bad enough we are standing in the geek line to see the geek movie of the millenium..." 

"Oh here we go with the name-calling again... You know, no one is paying you to stand here, Darth Bringdown. And it would be RinBus, actually, John. And, what, only legal drugs count, Narcan-man?" 

"Guys, guys... _please_. Come on. I know it's all overhype and I know it's a little silly but, you know. We're here. It's a once in a lifetime kind of thing. And the whole last year has just been so... so awful. Can't we just this once... enjoy ourselves? Please?" 

"Well..." 

"When you put it that way..." 

"So, uh—what _would_ my Star Wars name be, John?" 

"Okay. Let's see. A-L-E from Alex, and you drive a..." 

"This week? A Lexus." 

"AleLexus. You know, there's only one planet you could possibly come from." 

"Whoo hoo. I bet I know what it is." 

"Oh, gosh. Me too." 

"Yeah, well, I hate to disappoint you all, but the last drug I took was Tylenol, so that's my damn planet: Alelexus, from the planet Tylenol. Happy, John?" 

"Happy, Alex. It's just..." 

"What?" 

"It would just be funnier if you'd cop to the Ex-Lax..." 

-pa-dum-pum- 

* * *


End file.
